Your brain is an evidence-making machine. When you have a thought, whether it’s positive or negative, your brain starts searching for evidence to support it. If you tell yourself that you’re not doing enough for your kids or that you're a bad mom or that you're lazy, you can probably rattle off a long list of the many ways that your thought is true.
The stories that you tell yourself about your life end up creating your life. They can keep you in the pit of despair, in the same room with resentment, and holding hands with unhappiness.
When you change your story, however, you change your world, one little bit at a time. If you can reframe your stories to turn yourself into a heroine who overcomes daily challenges, your brain begins to recognize the truth – you are a superhero.
I have a feeling that you don't believe me so I'm going to give you a homework assignment. At least once a day, I want you to complete this sentence, “Today, I was a superhero because …”
Find a time that you can answer this question regularly. You can add it to your bedtime routine, like right after you've brushed your teeth, or you could answer the question when you're in that mid-afternoon slump when it seems like the day will never end. You could also make the question part of dinnertime with your family, giving everyone a chance to talk about their superhero moment of the day.
Here are some examples from everyday superheroes:
Today, I was a superhero because …
• I managed to prepare dinner even with an unhappy three-year-old hanging onto my ankles.
• I fought my way through rush hour traffic without losing my cool, even when an idiot cut me off and nearly caused an accident.
• I mastered a shopping trip to Costco (with kids in tow), loaded and unloaded the car singlehandedly, and put nearly everything away in the span of one day.
Let this be your superpower: changing your life, one story at a time.
Join me and a small group of moms at The Well-Crafted Mom's mini-retreat for moms. In October, we’ll focus on how to go head-to-head with your inner Mean Manager who keeps you mired in mommy guilt. The Mean Manager is the voice in your head that says it’s selfish to want what you want, the chores need to be finished before you can take time for yourself (and when are the chores ever finished?), and how everyone else needs to be happy before you can pursue your own happiness. In a unique coaching + crafts workshop for moms, you’ll learn how to grapple with mommy guilt and outsmart your inner Mean Manager so you can build a life you love. For more information, visit thewellcraftedmom.com/mini-retreats.
I'm a mother of two incredible boys, wife to Bill White of Happy Baby Signs, author of the books The Well-Crafted Mom and Signs of a Happy Baby, and an intuitive life coach. I like to blog about my adventures with my family and the life lessons I'm learning along the way. I hope you'll join me on this journey.
Check out our past newsletters by clicking the link below.